‘I Do Not Want To Go Back’: Adichie Speaks After Son’s Death
By BUNMI BUSOLA
A Painful Change in Perspective
NIGERIAN author Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie has said the death of her 21-month-old son, Nkanu, has profoundly changed how she feels about Nigeria.
Adichie made the disclosure in an interview with The New York Times, where she was asked whether Nigeria still felt like a place close to her heart.
“My feelings toward Nigeria have changed,” she said. “I do not want to go back to Nigeria.”
Her statement marks a striking change for a writer whose identity and literary work have remained deeply connected to Nigeria.
The Death of Her Son
Nkanu, one of Adichie’s twin boys, died in December 2025 following a medical emergency at Euracare in Nigeria.
According to Adichie, the child initially developed a fever and received antibiotics from her husband, Ivara Esege. When his condition did not improve, the couple took him to the hospital for further medical examination.
She said doctors later sedated Nkanu with propofol during an MRI examination. The child subsequently suffered cardiac arrest and died the following day.
Adichie said the events surrounding the procedure remain deeply painful for her.
She recalled a doctor approaching her after the procedure in what she described as a state of panic.
The doctor, she said, told her that Nkanu had received too much propofol.
Adichie said those words have remained permanently etched in her memory.
Allegations of Medical Negligence
The circumstances surrounding Nkanu’s death have generated a dispute between the family and the hospital.
In June, Adichie publicly raised allegations of medical negligence over the treatment her son received.
The case has since become the subject of a coroner’s inquest. The proceedings have reportedly faced delays and disagreements involving the family and Euracare.
The hospital has also reportedly accused Adichie and her husband of destroying evidence by cremating their son’s remains. The allegation forms part of the dispute surrounding the ongoing proceedings.
Adichie and Esege have called for improvements in Nigeria’s healthcare system. However, according to the report, they have not filed a lawsuit against the hospital.
Nigeria No Longer Feels the Same
For Adichie, the tragedy has also altered a relationship with a country that once represented a central part of her personal and creative identity.
Before Nkanu’s death, she described Nigeria as the place that gave her “everything” she needed to become a writer.
That connection now exists alongside grief and painful memories.
Asked whether she might eventually return, Adichie indicated that her children could influence her decision.
Her daughter, she said, still considers Nigeria her “happy place.”
Living With an Unimaginable Loss
Adichie also acknowledged the surreal nature of grieving a child while continuing with everyday life.
“I mean, it is so surreal, all of this,” she said. “I still can’t believe we’re talking about my son who died.”
She described the experience as one in which a person can be going through something devastating while also feeling detached from it.
For the celebrated author, Nkanu’s death has therefore become more than a private family tragedy. It has reshaped her feelings about the country she once regarded as inseparable from her identity.
Whether that change will prove permanent remains uncertain. For now, Adichie says she does not want to return to Nigeria.
