The Man Who Changed His Name For Love In Colonial Lagos
Kofo Abayomi and a Marriage That Defied Colonial Norms
Introduction: An Unusual Love Story in Colonial Lagos
IN the social world of colonial Lagos, where lineage, titles and propriety governed personal relationships, few stories stand out as boldly as that of Dr. Kofo John, a man who changed his surname in 1930 to marry a widow who had sworn never to wed again. His decision to assume the name “Abayomi” was not merely romantic—it challenged entrenched customs surrounding masculinity, inheritance, and identity in early 20th-century Nigeria.
Lady Oyinkan Ajasa: Privilege, Education and Promise
Lady Oyinkan Ajasa, later known as Lady Oyinkan Abayomi, was born on March 6, 1897, into one of Lagos’ most distinguished families. Her father, Sir Kitoye Ajasa, was a prominent Yoruba aristocrat and the first Nigerian to be knighted by the British Crown. Her mother, Lucretia Olayinka Moore, hailed from the Egba royal lineage.
Raised in an environment that blended African nobility with Western education, Oyinkan attended the Anglican Girls’ Seminary in Lagos before continuing her studies in England at Ryford Hall, Gloucestershire. In 1917, she enrolled at the Royal Academy of Music in London, an uncommon achievement for African women of her era.
Love, Loss and a Vow of Widowhood
Upon returning to Lagos in 1920, Oyinkan became a music teacher at her former school. It was during this period that she met Moronfolu Abayomi, a young lawyer. Their marriage in 1923 symbolised the union of intellect, promise and social standing.
Tragically, the marriage was cut short. Just two months after their wedding, Moronfolu Abayomi was assassinated in court. The shocking nature of his death left Oyinkan devastated. According to accounts from the period, she resolved never to remarry, choosing instead to preserve her late husband’s memory.
Kofo John’s Unconventional Proposal
Dr. Kofo John, a respected professional and admirer of Oyinkan, later sought her hand in marriage. Her response was direct and uncompromising: she would only consider remarriage if he adopted her late husband’s surname, Abayomi.
At a time when a man’s name represented lineage, authority and continuity, such a demand was extraordinary. Yet Kofo John agreed. In doing so, he legally changed his name to Dr. Kofo Abayomi and married Oyinkan.
Identity, Love and Social Meaning
The name change carried deep symbolic weight. It preserved the Abayomi legacy, honoured a deceased husband and redefined marital sacrifice in a patriarchal society. Rather than diminishing Dr. Kofo Abayomi, the act elevated him in public memory as a man whose devotion transcended ego.
Conclusion
Kofo Abayomi’s decision was more than a romantic gesture; it was a quiet rebellion against rigid social norms. Nearly a century later, the story remains a striking reminder that love, identity and history often intersect in unexpected ways.
