The High Price Of “I Do”: How Nigeria’s Wedding Culture Traps Young Couples In Debt
By BUNMI BUSOLA
ACROSS Nigeria’s cities, weddings have transformed into extravagant displays of wealth, status, and social hierarchy—spectacles that increasingly leave young couples financially battered long before their marriages begin. What was once a family celebration has mutated into a multimillion-naira industry that feeds cultural expectations, social pressure, and an economy built on appearances rather than reality.
A recent wedding in Abuja tells the story clearly: luxury convoys jammed the street, champagne flowed, and the couple sat atop a gilded stage that screamed opulence. Yet, beneath the glitter, the groom whispered a truth shared by many Nigerian men: “I’m finished.” Behind the joy lies a crisis—lavish weddings are squeezing young couples into debt, stress, and long-term instability.
A Culture That Demands a Show
Urban Nigerian weddings have become a form of social theatre. Families—especially the bride’s—insist on grandeur, not sentiment. A wedding is no longer judged by intimacy or meaning but by scale, décor, and the calibre of guests. In a society where reputation is currency, no one wants to appear modest.
Wedding planner Tola Adedeji captures today’s reality: even middle-income families feel compelled to stage luxury events. Budgets of ₦10 million to ₦50 million are now routine for upper-middle-class weddings. Imported flowers, drone cinematography, premium décor, and celebrity-style events have become the “standard,” even for couples who cannot afford them.
As inflation worsens and the naira weakens, the costs soar. But expectations do not fall—they rise.
Groom as Chief Financier
Nigeria’s patriarchal structure places the financial burden squarely on the groom. He pays the bride price, funds the traditional and white weddings, and supports extended families throughout the ceremonies. In some communities, traditional marriage lists can cost up to ₦2 million before the main wedding even begins. A groom who cannot “perform” financially risks being deemed unfit.
The consequences are severe. Young men sell land, take loans, empty savings, or fall into debt traps. Some begin married life owing millions. Counsellors report cases of grooms suffering depression—and even suicidal thoughts—over wedding expenses.
The Instagram Pressure Cooker
Social media has poured fuel on an already raging fire. Instagram and TikTok weddings set unrealistic standards that ordinary Nigerians struggle to mimic. Grand entrances, viral hashtags, fireworks, designer gowns, and cinematic videos create a false benchmark of what a “successful wedding” should look like.
Couples no longer celebrate love—they perform it.
A Thriving Industry Built on Strain
Meanwhile, the wedding economy thrives. It is now estimated to be worth over ₦1 trillion annually. Vendors—from caterers to photographers—profit handsomely. Luxury albums cost over ₦2 million; celebrity makeup artists charge hundreds of thousands per bride.
The irony is stark: everyone makes money except the couple getting married.
Quiet Resistance Emerges
A small but growing number of couples are rebelling. Registry weddings, minimalist home receptions, and small destination ceremonies are becoming attractive alternatives. Though mocked by traditionalists, couples who choose simplicity report greater financial and emotional peace.
As sociologist Hauwa Musa notes, these choices reflect a shift from performative love to practical partnership.
When Love Starts in Debt
Still, cultural expectations remain powerful. Many couples know the risks but feel trapped. A wedding is seen as a rite of passage—proof of adulthood and family honour. But the aftermath is sobering: savings depleted, financial plans postponed, and marriages strained from day one.
Psychologists warn that starting marriage with heavy debt breeds resentment and conflict. Love becomes secondary to survival.
A Celebration or a Cage?
The Nigerian wedding has become a paradox: a glamorous celebration that too often functions as a financial trap. It offers fantasy but demands sacrifice. It promises joy but often delivers stress. As one groom reflected after his ₦18 million wedding, “People hailed me as a big man, but I’m paying for it every month.”
Weddings should mark the beginning of partnership, not the start of financial ruin. Yet until society is willing to separate love from spectacle, young couples will continue to pay the steep price of cultural expectations—sometimes for years.
Nigeria must confront this reality. True prestige lies not in the wedding day’s splendour but in the stability of the life that follows.
