Silent Strength: The Hidden Cost Of South-South Women As Family Breadwinners

IN Nigeria’s South-South region, countless women shoulder a dual burden — serving as caregivers while also providing for their households. Their resilience sustains families through adversity, but behind their quiet strength lies a struggle that shapes not only their lives but also the futures of their children.

For women like Joan Ukadike, a petty trader and mother of four from Delta State, each day is a relentless cycle of work, caregiving, and sacrifice. “It tells on the woman because of the health distress. It’s very stressful,” she said, noting how exhaustion often robs her of time and energy for her children. Yet, like many mothers in her community, she feels compelled to step into the provider’s role: “You do what you have to do to keep the family going. You don’t leave all the responsibility to the men.”

Her story mirrors that of Magdalene Festus, a widow and mother of five from Benin City. She has carried her family’s burden since losing her husband. “As a mother, it’s not easy. The journey is long, and it requires partnership. But when the support isn’t there, you’re left to bear it all,” she said. For her, the absence of male responsibility creates gaps in both provision and guidance. “Nowadays, you see many children with fathers, but they’re like children without fathers.”

Shifting gender roles in an unforgiving economy

Traditionally, men were expected to serve as providers while women managed the home. But economic hardship, coupled with cultural change, is rewriting these roles. Data from the National Bureau of Statistics (NBS) shows that female-headed households rose from 21.1 per cent in 2016 to 22.3 per cent in 2023/2024, with the South-South witnessing the sharpest increase. Here, more than 30 per cent of households are now led by women, reflecting a seismic shift in family dynamics.

This change, however, is not without costs. Women thrust into breadwinning often work in the informal sector — trading, farming, or offering services. The meagre incomes they generate are stretched thin, leaving little room for adequate nutrition or education for their children. Nutritionist Faith Uwa explained: “Many mothers can’t afford proper infant food like NAN or SMA Gold. They substitute with cheaper options not meant for babies, leading to malnutrition.”

Emotional and psychological toll

Beyond physical exhaustion, these women grapple with emotional strain. Psychologist Nnyen Adomi noted that combining caregiving and breadwinning often results in burnout, anxiety, and even depression. “Many women in the South-South work informally without recognition or adequate compensation. They are expected to be natural caregivers, so they don’t seek help. Their struggles remain invisible,” she said.

The ripple effects extend to children. Some, like Austin from Edo State, grew up with fathers present but absent in responsibility. “I loved my mother more because she was the one who provided for me. It’s hard to respect a father who doesn’t take responsibility,” he said. Others, like Aisha Jimoh, experienced emotional gaps: “My mom was always busy making money for us. I had to rely on friends to learn about things I should have learned from her.”

Experts warn that this imbalance can lead to “parentification,” where children assume adult responsibilities too early, shaping their mental health and future relationships.

The bigger picture: poverty and malnutrition

The Gates Foundation estimates that childhood hunger reduces lifetime earnings by 10 per cent and perpetuates poverty. In Nigeria, nearly 33.1 million people face food insecurity in 2025, according to FAO, with children and mothers most at risk. For these women, resilience alone cannot break the cycle. Structural support — from affordable nutrition to accessible financial services — is vital.

Women like Sarah Osazuwa, a mother of seven, highlight another layer: complacency among some men. “Many of them just depend on relatives abroad. They sit back and wait while the women carry the weight of the home,” she lamented.

Breaking the cycle

Empowering women financially is key. Studies consistently show that when women control resources, they invest more in nutrition, education, and family well-being. Nutritionist Ms. Uwa suggested practical solutions such as home gardening with pumpkin leaves to boost diets or running small-scale businesses that double as sustenance.

Psychologist Adomi called for systemic recognition of women’s unpaid labour, community support structures, and mental health services tailored to their needs. “These women are holding families and communities together at great personal cost. Acknowledgement and support are overdue,” she said.

Despite the odds, women like Ukadike remain determined to keep their families intact. “Love and understanding in the home are important, even if you’re the one doing everything,” she said.

Their resilience is inspiring, but resilience without systemic support is not sustainable. The stories of South-South women are not just tales of survival; they are calls for urgent action to create a society where caregiving and breadwinning are shared responsibilities — and where women no longer bear the double duty alone.